The Dilemma

There's a strange dilemma when retiring early. Everyone assumes you have a plan. "What do you plan to do?" They all ask. I can't say, "Good question!" People expect that I've actually thought this through, you see. If I'm honest and say, "I have no idea", they'd think I'm screwy, wonder why I'm leaving a great career, a job that I've loved.

"I'm going to do some consulting" I tell people. And it's true, I'm going to do that. But, my plan is to do that only a few days per month. So how am I going to fill the other 27 or 28 days that every month except February has?

 Oh, I'll take care of my precious granddaughter Ava, for sure. That plan involves one day per week. So now we're down to 23, 24 days. Let's go with 23 for simplicity's sake here, and forget the 31-day months. So then what? Perhaps I could finally fulfill a plan I've had my whole life: take piano lessons. (I guess that means I should buy a piano.) Let's see...one lesson per week - an hour, I suppose - plus an hour, let's say 2 - of daily practice. That's 15 more hours planned per month. We'll even it out and call it 2 days. And maybe I can volunteer somewhere interesting for a couple days monthly? Okay, let's add that. So now we have only 19 days to fill with meaningful activity. 19 days...228 days per year. BIG gulp. What the heck am I doing??

I have to tell you what I won't do. I will not spend a lot of my time with other retirees. Have I mentioned that I'm not especially keen on people my age and older? I mean seriously - I should want to hang with people who spend most of their time complaining about everything under the sun and sharing news about all their ailments? Uhhh...no. I'd rather be strung from my toes on an Iranian flagpole.

So it's 19 days...what to do, what to do. I think it's time to invite people to my blog to offer ideas. Any suggestions?

Talking to myself

At this point, I'm talking to myself. I haven't yet invited him or her or them. Or even you! I'll get there. Maybe today, maybe not. This is a big deal, writing about these changes, these gulps. I'm going to retire. R-E-T-I-R-E.

What the heck does that mean, anyway? Y'know, it depends on the source of information. There are those TV commercials that show 'this generation of retirees' running and swimming and whatever the 3rd part is of a triathalon. Then there's the pictures of seniors sitting around in an aging people's center all playing board games and cards. There's the lonely retiree who's fallen and can't get up for days. (Ever wonder if she peed herself before help finally came? I did!)

I don't see ME in any of these visions! So what will my retirement be?? No answers today, just pondering. I do that a lot these days.

The packet on my kitchen bar

Yes. I see you, retirement package. You're sitting up there patiently on my kitchen bar in that generic manila envelope, the robin blue folder tucked inside you. All the details are there...how much retirement income I'll be getting if I choose plan A, how much for plan B, C, D, or E. You have questions for me to answer like who gets the dough when I kick the bucket, and again...I must choose plan A, B, C, D, or E. Do I want to sign up for health insurance? Choose plan A, B, C...getting the picture, I'm sure. There are all these choices, and I need to take care of this! I plan to, but for now I'll just think about it. Hey, it's not like I'm just ignoring it! I've noticed it hanging out there for these past 3 weeks. I know I'm supposed to be doing something about it.

I've already informed my employers that I'm gone after the last work day in December. Writing that resignation letter was a big deal! I watched as my job was posted on the website for prospective applicants. yikes. I'm not going to be working there any more. Strange. I'm excited, I think. gulp.

Yeah, ok...so I won't get any money after December if I don't get the pages in the packet filled out. I'll get it done. I will. Not today, but soon.